A Trip to the ER for Constitution L. Democracy
Enough already! Let’s stop looking at the impeachment through blue or red lenses. Instead, let’s consider it clinically.
The patient, Constitution L. Democracy, was brought into the Emergency Room, seriously injured. The house doctors on duty — specialists in treating wounded tenets — quickly began an examination.
“Where is the pain?” they asked.
The patient struggled to speak. “Uh…it’s primarily in my emoluments clause. Please, please help me. I feel so weak…” Constitution’s voice trailed off.
The doctors knew they had to work fast, for if the patient was indeed correct, and its emolument clause was affected, then Constitution’s pulse would become erratic and faint. They ordered a full-document scan by the house technicians. They had to determine the full extent of the injury, and then, if necessary, develop a treatment plan to save Constitution L. Democracy.
As they waited for the test results, the doctors scurried to learn exactly how the injury occurred. They headed for the waiting room. “Constitution L. Democracy was stricken while raising the flag this morning — like it has done every morning since September 17, 1787,” said the breathless security guardian — still wearing his duty whistle. The guardian had rushed to the scene and brought Constitution to the ER.
“What happened?” asked the doctors.
“Well,” began the guardian. “Other eye and ear witnesses are on their way to speak to you directly, but from what I learned from speaking with them at the scene, Constitution was injured by a DJT action.“
“The President’s action??” asked the doctors, appearing quite shocked at what they had just been told.
“Yes,” answered the guardian. “Constitution L. Democracy was talking to me in the ambulance on our way here. Constitution said it began to experience sharp and escalating pain right in its emoluments clause the moment DJT acted to pressure the Ukrainian government into investigating Joe Biden, his potential opponent in the 2020 general election. He did it by withholding U.S. military aide to Ukraine not to help America — but to help his own reelection prospects.”
Soon, other witnesses to the assault on Constitution L. Democracy arrived to tell the house doctors what they knew and observed. “You must relate only the facts you know to be true,” the house doctors told the witnesses. “Only with clear and incontestable data can we work to save Constitution L. Democracy.”
They all testified to what had happened. They said they knew that DJT indeed pressured a foreign government to conduct an investigation of Biden by asking the president of Ukraine to “do me a favor, though” — after he told DJT that he looked forward to receiving the U.S. military assistance already appropriated to a Ukraine by Congress. Constitution’s emoluments clause (Article I, Section 9) clearly states that foreign emoluments are prohibited. The clause, included by Constitution’s framers, was meant to reduce the opportunities for improper foreign influence in the American political system.
The house doctors were paged to return to the ER. The results of Constitution’s full document scan were in. It revealed that the President’s Oath of Office that was supposed to protect and defend Constitution’s emoluments clause (and all clauses) had been degrading since 2017, and now had done so to the point of total disintegration.
The house doctors looked at one another in disbelief — knowing that there was but a single remedy. The only treatment that could restore Constitution to robust health was one they would need to harvest from Constitution itself: Its Impeachment clause. Article II, Section 4 is a remedy for impeachable offenses (high crimes and misdemeanors) arising from the abuse of power or the violation of the public trust.
“Doctors,” said Constitution. “If I perish, my surname — Democracy — will die with me. You know, I have carried that name alone for over 230 years. It will not survive without me. Can you save me?”
“According to your own articles, Constitution, you know we must ask Congress to allow us to administer the impeachment clause,” they answered. “It’s in their hands now. Meanwhile, we’ll stay with you…and pray for you and our nation.”